Distance
by FooFooCuddlyPoof
Summary: -a retelling of the last part of chapter 122 and what happens after WARNING: HakxYona Fluff fest. Update: Edited chapter 1
1. Distance

_retelling of the last part of chapter 122 and what happens after_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Akatsuki no Yona nor the characters.  
(However I would like to own Hak for myself. Lol. Who doesn't?)_

 _Warning: fluff fest._

 _Note:_ _ _Edited Chapter 1  
_ This was posted before chapter 123. I loved chapter 123, and I don't see the need to change it. This was just a product of my frustration while I was waiting for the release of the chapter._

* * *

" _I'm back"_

Yona whispered to herself as she stared at the folds of the tent above her. 3 days have passed since she came back. She's tired and worn out from everything. But she just couldn't sleep. She turned her head to look at Yun. He's curled up and sleeping peacefully beside her.

Few more attempts to sleep and she soon gave up. She crawled out of the tent, trying to be as quiet as possible with every move.

Lots of things have been stirring in her mind. The nadai issue, the kingdom's current state, her recent experiences -she could still feel small waves of panic upon recalling the sight of Lily nearly dying. She wondered how she's doing – she made a mental note of checking up on her some time soon.

Her heart dropped as she felt a pang in her chest as her thoughts drifted to the "little reunion" she had with Soo Won and Hak. A memory resurfaced. A memory of them and how they used to be. A faint thought, an impossible wish of things they could have been _together._

 _How did it end up like this?_

The pain of the hunger, the beatings, the maltreatment, the wounds – she recalled, they all seemed nothing compared to the ache she felt about the three of them and how they are now.

Knowing that drowning herself in these thoughts would not help, she shoved the thoughts away as she walked towards the larger tent where the others are sleeping. She found comfort in thinking that she's no longer too far away from them. Yun, Kija, Shin ah, Jae ha, Zeno and Hak, she had missed them all so much. Their company, laughter, shared feelings, even their mere presence- they're all somewhat have become her home.

She quietly knelt forward, pushed aside the tent's flaps and peeked inside. Shin ah was sleeping on his side, back turned against Kija. Zeno was in between Kija and Jae ha, hugging Kija's arm, and locking Jae ha's leg with his. It all seemed normal. Except Hak wasn't there.

 _Hak… maybe it's his turn to keep watch_

She released the flaps and stood up.

Hak hasn't talked to her. He did say it's good that she's back but they've never really talked like she expected. He hasn't scolded her. He hasn't teased her. It was clear that she missed him. And he's been… well, distant. He was avoiding her and it hurt her –more than she'd like to admit.

Her eyes trailed off toward the woods in search for signs of him. Absentmindedly, she started walking, eyes still looking for him.

Why she felt this way needed no explanation. It only made sense because he was Hak. He's been by her side ever since. He was her friend. Her companion. The most important person in her life… Whether there's something else that she felt towards him that confused her, it didn't matter. Feeling that he's drifted away from her was enough reason for her to feel this way.

"Princess? What's wrong?" His voice almost made her jump. She turned towards the source of the voice and he was there. "Why are you up at this hour?"

 _Hak_

She didn't answer.

"Does your leg hurt?"

"I want to touch you" she blurted out.

* * *

"…What?" Hak stared in confusion. Was he hearing things? Was he THAT tired?

As she approached her, he reassured himself that he wasn't hallucinating.

"Hak."

"Yes, Princess Yona?" He sounded like a soldier addressing his royal highness.

She remembered being the one asking him to call her princess but never had it felt this distant. The formality stung her. And she had no use for formality right now.

"Why are you so distant?"

He froze, not knowing how to answer.

 _She's really here. Shit. What do I do?_

Stubborn as he was, he knew that this is a case where he wouldn't be able to get out of. Ever since Yona was back, he's been on edge. He's distanced himself. He reminded himself that he couldn't lose control again. He almost did when he first saw her the day she came back. He remembered that moment when everything suddenly fell silent and she was all he could see. Relief, Anger, Worry, and happiness all welled up inside him in a battle making, him lose his senses for a moment. And just before it fully consumed him, he was able to stop himself from pushing her down and ravaging her like the senseless animal he was. So no, that can't happen again.

"What do you mean, hime? I'm right here" he knew _exactly_ what she meant

"No, Hak. I mean, you FEEL distant. You were closer before… I think."

He didn't say anything or rather, he didn't know what to say.

"I figured you'd be scolding me after what happened. Do 'weird things'. Say stuff like you want to 'tie me up' or be annoyingly close. You would get angry. You would get over protective… I thought we've grown closer" She tried her best not so sound emotional and be casual instead, but her eyes starting to feel hot.

He kept silent for a moment. He couldn't take this any longer. This woman didn't know what she's doing to him and she's dancing on his last nerve of self-control.

"Princess, you should go back and sleep. Don't trouble yourself thinking of such things. Plus, Yun would be worried if he finds you're not ther- -"

Her hand was clutching on the hem of his robe. _When did she get so close?_

"Hak"

Her lavender eyes found his dark sapphire ones, For a moment, he felt even more vulnerable and scared. Her voice was regal and commanding but her eyes were wet and blazed with frustration. … and he was falling even more in love.

"What did I do to make you _hate_ me so much?" she was being irrational. 'hate' was a little bit over the edge. She should have been more careful but the words just poured out of her.

She didn't have the time to change it.

He snapped.

With one swift movement, she found herself suddenly trapped between him and a tree, his arms planted against the tree on both her sides, his tall figure towering over her small frame.

He looked angry.

"Hak, I didn't mean- -"

"Do you have ANY idea how much self-control I have to round up JUST to keep myself from pouncing on you? From the moment I saw you limping towards me the day you came back with Jae Ha and Zeno, I've been wrestling with the urge to take you in my arms and keep you to myself. I wanted to tie you up. I still do. The reason I've been distant is I'm scared. I'm scared of what I might do to you. I'm afraid I will have no self-control left in me, I might not be able to protect you from me and I won't be able to hold back. And you come running in here, alone, saying something about _wanting to touch me…_ "

"- - -" she was out of words. His eyes was boring into hers and she was frozen.

"You really have no idea what you do to me, do you?" his voice was softer.

He slumped his head onto her shoulder.

"I don't hate you. I _can't_ hate you, _Yona_. Even if you ordered me to. It's just damn impossible" a sense of defeat coated his voice

They both fell silent and they stayed that way for a while until she broke the silence.

"I- - I don't hate you too." She hid her eyes in his shoulders, leaning against him.

From her shoulders, he raised his head and leaned his forehead against hers.

"I was very worried, _princess_ " he said it with reverence and endearment -the way he normally would rather than the distant formality he's been using recently.

She felt a wave of relief crashing down on her, along with a sting of guilt.

"… I'm sorry" She closed her eyes as she cried silently, trying to stop it with all her might. She wasn't sure if it was of the guilt from having him worry that much or of the feeling of being safe to finally break down or relief of having him closer -of the satisfied longing.

He pulled her into an embrace, burying his face in her hair. He ran his right hand in circular motions against her back to calm her down.

"It hurt"

"Your leg?"

"No, you idiot." More tears spilled from her eyes.

"Well sorry for being an idiot, Ohime-sama." He replied, trying to lighten up the mood to no avail. "I'm sorry" His voice was lulling her. He pulled his head away, rested his chin on top of her head.

"Idiot. You're an idiot" She clutches at the fabric of his clothes on his sides, as if making sure he wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm an idiot." He repeats it as his hands traveled to her face, his thumb traced his jawline, while his other fingers touched her neck. He kissed her forehead. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way"

"Hak…It hurts when you're distant"

He remembered why he shouldn't be this close to her. He was losing his sanity. Again. He couldn't remember when he stopped resisting it but he knew he's totally lost it. His other hand made its way to the back of her head.

A kiss in the forehead doesn't suffice now.

He tilted her head upwards. And from her forehead, his lips shifted to meet hers. His lips brushed against hers lightly as if she was something fragile.

He pulled away almost immediately, she looks at him with eyes filled with bewilderment.

An intense blush crept up to both their faces, and both looked away.

Hak cleared his throat.

"U-um ano… princess, Y-you should go back."

"Y-yeah Yun would be worried if he wakes up and sees I'm not there"

They were both rambling

"Yeah" he scratches the back of his head.

"I'll be going then!"

"Should I walk with you? Make sure you're- -"

"NO! I mean… no, I'm sure I'll be fine!"

She hurriedly turned towards the camp and started walking. Only she couldn't feel her legs and she fell forward with a yelp.

" _Seriously!"_ Both simultaneously thought

He ended up having to walk with her back to the camp.

* * *

Everyone still seemed to be sleeping.

"I should go in now" Yona said, still looking away.

"Goodnight, princess."

Hak started to walk back to the woods when she called him

"Hak"

He stopped, not turning, knowing she couldn't look at him straight in the face right now

Staring down at her fingers, she continued, "Does this- what happened tonight… make it more difficult for you to be around me?"

He took a moment to reply.

"Yes"

She shot her eyes up at him and found him standing in front of her looking straight at her.

"It doesn't mean I'll stop being around you. I promise"

He bent down and kissed her forehead once again before leaving.

* * *

EXTRA:

"WHY IS YONA COVERED IN DIRT AND LEAVES?!"

A bishounen's voice could be heard in the entire campsite

"She fell and tripped last night because Hak kisse- -"

Jae ha was cut-off by a knee in his gut.

"What were you saying? Jae ha? Eh? Are you alright? Oi." Hak was helping him up like he didn't do anything to him

Jae coughed, "I said Hak kis- -" Hak's knee landed in his gut again

"You have to speak clearly, Jae Ha, we can't understand you" Kija commented from afar

"Zeno thinks so too!" Zeno added

"What was that?" Yun asked again

"I went out for some air last night. I fell and tripped on my way back" Yona explained, her face was red all over.

 _This is gonna be difficult alright._

* * *

 _A/N:_

 _This is my first time (in a looong time) to write fics again._

 _This is my first try at Akatsuki no Yona_

 _O mah god, somebody bring me flowers. Lol._

 _Soo… I've fixed some minor issues here.. some lines that I think would have been better than the last time. And yeah, my major focus on the editing was on Yona's part. I think she came off A LOT weak from last time. I tried to make her… less weak. Lol. I mean I thought she shouldn't be at all, considering her strong personality and all. I think I overlooked that a bit. So I'm sorry for that. (though nobody mentioned it, but I'm glad I realized that myself and went to correct it… however a bit pissed at myself because I didn't realize it earlier. Ugh)_

 _And um.. shout out to one of my first reviewers of this chapter!_

 _ **XXinsidemymindXX  
**_ _OMG the part about hak's "hallucination"ACTUALLY HAPPENED in the manga! Hahaha When the chapter came out, I was like, freaking out. Welp. It was a proud moment for me. Lol._

 _Anyway, thank you for reading, I hope I didn't waste your time. I intended this to be a one-shot, but after writing it, I feel like I could make it a multi-chap. But I don't think I'll be developing a solid story line here, just a couple of one-shots fluff fest that may be interrelated._

 _Tell me what you think about the changes I've made, or if it's your first time reading it, I'd like to know your opinion_

 _Reviews are appreciated._

 _Tell me what you think_

 _Constructive criticisms are welcome. But please be nice. I'm sensitive. Lol_


	2. Impulse

**IMPULSE**

 _A continuation of the previous chapter (as noted previously, chapters will be continuous and interrelated but there will be no solid story line.)_

 _Disclaimer: I do not own Akatsuki no Yona nor its characters_

 _Warning: More fluff._

* * *

Yona's been practicing her shooting for a while now.

She's been on edge lately since the night a certain raven haired lad had kissed her. She's been distracted, spacing out more often, clumsier than the usual and she just CAN'T GET THE DAMN ARROW TO HIT

She was starting getting frustrated but again, she took her stance, took a deep breath and aimed.

 _THWISH!_

She let out an unsatisfied grunt as she missed the targeted tree.

"Terrible", a voice behind her booed.

Startled, she flinched for a moment before turning to the uninvited audience. _Hak_

"Th-that's none of your business. How long have you been there?" She sputtered, trying her best not to sound flustered.

"I'm your teacher, you're my student. And you've gotten worse. It clearly is MY business"

"Whatever" she muttered, avoiding his gaze. She turned back around and took her shooting stance, trying to shrug the awkward feelings that's starting to creep up once more.

He sighed in frustration. She was being stubborn again. Why did he come here in the first place?

As difficult as it already was, he did make a promise that he'll **be around her more**. But her getting all flustered and avoiding him all the time is really not helping.

She was the one who said she wanted him close, right? It's not that he got it all wrong, right? That night was neither a dream nor a hallucination, right? _RIGHT?_

He shoved away his thoughts and doubts. She's just being stubborn. _Yeah, she's always been that._

 _THWISH!_

She missed another target. The tension in the air was suffocating. Or maybe that's just her. She turned around and almost jumped when she found he was just right behind her.

"You're tensed. Nervous." He moved towards her

"I'm not" she took a step back

"You obviously are. Why?" He inched closer

"You're being too close!" in an attempt to stop him from moving any more closer, she placed her hands in between them, - on his chest. His firm, warm chest. _Shit. Bad move, yona! Bad move!_

"Hm? Do I make you nervous, hime?" Shivers were sent down her spine.

"Th-that's not what I meant, idiot." Her voice was failing her. She could swear, her face was almost the same color as her hair now.

"Then why are you nervous?" he was pressuring her. _Teasing_ her.

His sharp blue eyes, blazed with mild frustration stared down at her. God, it made her weak on the knees.

She finally surrendered. "Why did you kiss me?"

"What?" That caught him off guard.

 _What do I say now?_ He didn't think she'd actually ask him. He just came to tease her a bit. Annoy her. Maybe get her just a bit angry. – to lighten up the air between them so she'd stop avoiding him.

Despite the uncontrolled red streaks across her face, she was staring right back at him, with eyes determined, waiting for an answer.

 _Why did I kiss her? Why is she asking me now? Did she hate it? Is that why she's been avoiding me?_

Thoughts were racing through his mind. But what should he say _now?_

"Is that why - -" He stopped mid-sentence, choosing another question. "Would you rather it never happened?"

"No, it's not that! – I mean-"

"Touch me."

"What? Wait, listen, I- -" She was spiraling into confusion, rush, panic and a lot more other emotions she really couldn't understand right now

He grabbed both her hands and placed them on either sides of his face. His large hands covered hers.

She couldn't look at him and instead stared at the ground beneath them. She couldn't understand what was happening to herself.

"Hak, this is - -"

"Look at me, yona"

She looked up but averted her gaze to a blank space on the side.

"I said look at me"

She shut her eyes as a stubborn response. Even without looking, she knew his eyes are fixed on her and she remembered how he stared at her intently. She blushed at the thought, realizing how inappropriate it is to fantasize about this now.

His skin felt warm under her touch. She could feel strands of his hair tickle the exposed skin of her fingers. _She was touching his face_. It's not like she hasn't done it before. This should be okay… until she felt him move their hands the _tiniest bit_ and the action made her think as if he'd been longing for this. For her touch. _That's just my imagination._

Exasperated, he fell to his last resort. "If you don't look at me, I'll kiss you again."

"Hak!" _you're kidding!_ Her eyes shot wide open in surprise only to see him and his stupid looking face with his tongue sticking out. Instincts took over her and she whacked his head.

"OW!" It sent him squatting down and rubbing the freshly whacked area. " what the- why did you hit me? You crazy wo- -"

She fell to her knees and sat across him. His words trailed off as he was taken aback by the sight in front of him.

She was laughing. She looked carefree, relaxed and happy. She looked so… _beautiful. Damn._ He felt his heart swell a little bit more for her and a blush was creeping up his cheeks. _Shit shit shit._

He brought one hand to his face, trying to calm himself down, hiding whatever evidence there is that he's blushing.

"I'm sorry…" she said in between laughter.

"You say you're sorry but you're still laughing. I'm not sure those two go together well, hime."

"I know. I'm sorry." She kept laughing. And he couldn't stop staring.

 _Damn. I really am in love with you._

He felt defeated. She's so stubborn.

And he already knew that. He's known that for years. And he's loved that about her forever.

Why _did_ he kiss her? Simple. It can't be helped. He lost it. And he's about to lose it again if this goes on.

Her laughter finally had died down.

"Are you done with your party, hime?"

She responded with a nod, wiping her eyes

"Why did you hit me?"

"I don't know. Impulse, maybe."

 _Impulse, huh._

He moved to sit beside her "Really. I wonder what other impulses you're hiding there in that 12-year old body", he teased

A vein snapped. "You really don't want to know."

"I think I really do."

"I think you should shut it."

He chuckled.

Yona shot a glance at him.

"You should laugh more, Hak."

He shrugged it off. It's a miracle he could even chuckle.

They stayed under the tree's shade for a while in silence, enjoying each other's company. She realized she wasn't as nervous anymore. He was right there beside her and it felt okay. This was definitely better than all the flustering and avoidance she's been doing. She **did** say she wanted him around more but she never thought it would be **that** difficult. She didn't think that every time she happens to be near him, she remembers how he held and kissed her. She blushed furiously again.

"Hak. You still haven't answered me properly" he stopped "why did you kiss me?"

He turned, got up, started walking away and answered,

"I don't know… impulse, maybe."

* * *

EXTRA:

Yun arms crossed in front was getting in the position to nag "was it that difficult to find and pick up wood for fire? that should be easy even for me!"

"Tch then why don't you do it?" Hak murmured, face impassive

"I can't dirty my hands with a job like that! I am a bishounen. have you ever seen a bishounen with hands that are as rough and dirty like yours?"

"Whatever. Where should I set these?"

"Why did you took so long, mister? Zeno was getting hungry"

"He was flirting with the princess, Zeno", Jae ha started "So please, forgive him"

"Hak was doing WHAT?!" Kija screamed, bursting out of the tent

Hak shot a death glare at the green-haired, half-dead Jae-ha. "I was not"

"Oh? I'm sorry, my dear thunder beast, I must have misinterpreted it. But you were saying a lot of flirty things. like, _'touch me'_ and even threatening to ki- -"

Hak grabbed his neck with his both hands before Jae-ha could continue, choking him into oblivion.  
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING TO THE PRINCESS, HAK?" Kija was freaking out and started heading to the forest, looking for Yona, crying "PRINCESS! PRINCESS, WHERE ARE YOU? WHAT DID THE BIG BAD MONSTER DO TO YOU?"

Hak's anger doubled as he continued to choke the poor green-haired dragon.

"Jae-ha's gonna die." Shin-ah whispered to Ao

* * *

 _I am back with a new chapter! It took a while but I have my (not so valid) excuses that nobody really wants to hear._

 _Anyway. So I thought I was done and was gonna leave this story as a oneshot. But I just can't contain all my) hakxyona fantasies (frustrations) to myself anymore. I feel like they needed to be shared and made known and be a cause for fangirling fangirls like me._

 _So there you go! Drown in the fluff!_

 _So I noticed something about how I write. I think I shift a lot in terms of POV? And I'm not sure if it's okay or not. I'm sorry about that if it turned out to be confusing. I was going for the sense of omniscience (you know, his and her thoughts and sides are presented) I'm not sure if I succeeded in doing so._

 _If it turned out bad, I'm very sorry. I was trying to avoid making sections or chunks that had each character's POV. (I don't know. I feel uncomfortable reading/writing that kind of thing)_

 _Any tips so that I can improve with this (and my writing in general)? I'd be very much grateful._

 _Tell me what you think of this chapter. If you have questions, suggestions, or requests, please feel free to leave reviews.  
_

 _I've got more coming up so stay tuned._


	3. Shattered

_**SHATTERED**_

 _Disclaimer: I own neither Hak nor Yona_

 _WARNING: emotional fluff_

* * *

 _It wasn't just her._

Hak traced the outline of her ears with his thumb as he let his fingers slide through her red locks. She was sleeping peacefully next to him. _Close to him._

 _It wasn't just her who thinks of how she would have to let him go after all of this is done with._

 _He ponders about it as well. Every time he holds her, every time they share a moment together and every time she felt so close to him, He knew._

 ** _She would always still be so far away from him_**

 _He would always think about how he would have to let her go someday. How she'll eventually 'set him free'. He thinks of how he won't get to be with her like this as often anymore._

He nuzzled his face on top of her head and breathed her in.

.

 ** _God, how he loved her._**

.

 _He'd been reckless. Let his feelings take over. It was dangerous and it was stupid._

 _She has grown feelings for him. And he blames himself for that he resents the idea, no. But he knew that if it ever comes to that point... if she falls... if she asked..._

He planted a kiss on her forehead,

 _...He would have to break her heart._

and another on the bridge of her nose.

 _And it would kill him._  
 _She was the princess. He was just... Hak._

 _It would be better that way. He knew it so._

 _And that's why he's decided._

 _He would not tell her the truth._

 _He would make the right choice._

 _And he would let her go._

He cupped her cheek as he pulled away

 _Because princesses shouldn't fall for bodyguards._

"What am I to you, Hak?" He flinched at the sudden question that came out from what he thought was a sleeping princess.

He immediately pulled his hand away but she caught it in hers.

"Hime, I - -"

"What am I... to you, Hak?" Again, she asked as she tilted her head upwards, looking straight at him with her face blush-stained, eyes brimming with confusion. She held his hand tighter and closer to her.

It took him a few seconds before taking a deep breath and gathered up his thoughts. His eyes hid behind his bangs and answered. _He would not tell her the truth._

"You... are the princess. Daughter of King Il."

"...And?" Her lavender eyes was fixed on him, searching for an answer. _The_ answer.

"...You are someone I vowed to protect with my life."

"Hak.." disappointment was evident in her voice. His jaw clenched.

"What do you want me to say?" his tone was covered in mild frustration. He pried his hand away from her grip and used it to rake his scalp front to back, unveiling his devious eyes. "Careful, hime. You're starting to make me feel you have _special feelings_ for me". He smiled teasingly while he was dying inside.

 _It was unfair._

She looked up at him and forced a smile.

"It was just a random thought. Thank you." She sat up and scratched the back of her head apologetically. "I'm pretty tired after today. I'm sure you are too. We should get some sleep." She said, smoothening out the imagined creases on her blanket. "Good night, Hak." She gave him a quick peck on his cheek and turned to her lie with her back facing him.

His body felt numb all over. He saw her silhouette trembling. _She's probably crying._ The ground might as well swallow him up now.

Minutes passed in silence. Just as he thought she's fallen asleep, she spoke again in a hoarse, cracked voice.

"Hak... you're so much more than just a friend and a body guard to me"

.

that did it.

.

He snaked his arms around her waist and pulled her to his chest.

"I love you, hime."

* * *

A/N:

Dun dun duuuuuun!

There. He said it. So yep. That will be the end for this story. No more chapters following this. BUT that doesn't mean no more oneshots from me ;)

I'm more comfortable publishing individual oneshots anyway so… yep.  
(BTW, have you checked my other recent upload? The title's "Tension" and that is for those looking for a more… intense fluff than what's offered in this story. And by that I mean it's almost a smut. ALMOST. Not quite and not YET *wink*)

Anyway, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story. Especially for those who reviewed, faved and followed. You guys are the best.

Check out my other Hak/Yona fanfics, you'll most probably enjoy them as well.

Let me know what you think! (of this chapter, of me or of how I write hehe)


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